Just thinking

I've been thinking today about my very first post on this thing, back oh so long ago on November 13. I said (in part):

I was finally moved to start a blog (after thinking about it for a while without ever getting around to it) by a recent phone conversation with a friend, in which the morass in Iraq came up. As such conversations do, this one then veered off in several related directions at once, all revolving around a core of our mutual distaste for George Bush. After a few minutes, my friend sighed and said there was no point getting all worked up about it.

"Yes, there is," I replied. "The truth is, my hope is nearly gone. My anger is the only thing that keeps me going."

So now I have an outlet to express that anger, to discuss what I'm angry about, why I'm angry, and, in my calmer moments, to try to rediscover that hope and offer a different vision of what we as a people, a nation, a culture, might do, might be, might become. (And, of course, I also need to wonder if this will become just navel-gazing, an exercise that makes me feel better without actually accomplishing anything.)

That last part has been coming back to me. What exactly am I accomplishing here; in fact, just what does this whole blogging business accomplish beyond letting us think we're accomplishing something? Yes, there are a handful of very popular, very widely read blogs that might actually have some impact in terms of producing some action if nothing else (certainly there are a few that have raised a fair amount of money for their favored candidates) - but what of the rest of us, the mere mortals?

The truth is, I think I'm suffering from outrage overload. I'm feeling frustrated and tired and discouraged about the world at large and our (that is, the US's) particular place in it and as a result I'm wondering if I'm doing anything more here than engaging in ego-tripping, imaging what I write is of interest or use to anyone or makes a flipping bit of difference.

Maybe I'm just tired (I am) or maybe it'll simply pass (it has before) or maybe I'm just impatient (for what, I'm not sure, but it has that edgy feeling to it). What I really think I need is either a break or some sense that doing this means more than reading my own words.

Actually, I am taking a break soon - Donna and I are taking a vacation, and no, I don't do mobile blogging. That's in just under two weeks and we'll be gone for a week. That will do me a world of good.

In the meantime, I expect the blogging will be a bit on the light side. Since I started doing this, I have posted something every day except for when we were moving and I had no access to my computer. I did a quick, if pointless, check and not counting the Jeopardy! posts I've been averaging nearly five posts a day. So maybe letting that slip to two or three for the next two weeks wouldn't be a bad idea.

Of course, after one good night's sleep I could change my attitude and my mind. We'll see.

In the meantime, any feedback or words of support would be appreciated.