Okay, just this once

I am against jokes or mockery based on physical characteristics. Maybe it's because I was the target of so many growing up, I don't know. In any event, I dislike them.

That's why I have never referred to Bush as "Chimp" or "Chimpy." (I have called him "Shrub," which I got from the lamented Molly Ivins.) I have never told a "fat" joke about Rush Limbaugh or a "male" joke about Ann Coulter. I prefer to reserve my mockery for a person's positions or politics. (Thus, Bush's Secretary of State was Can'tBe Right and before her, Colin Powerless.)

By day-yum! it is hard to keep from calling Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-1900) "Fishface."

I mean, turn that face sidewards and put it on a wood plaque and would fit right in over someone's fireplace. When he goes swimming, he'd better not do the backstroke because someone might think he was a flounder.

Okay, I'm done now.