Something just for fun

It's Valentine's Day and in honor of the saint who maybe did not exist and surely had no particular connection to February 14, we have a new way to express your love for all of creation - or at least your share of it.

Derived from an interpretation of passages of the New Testament (most notably 1 Thessalonians 4:15-17), Rapture prophecy posits that Jesus Christ will return to Earth to gather his disciples for eternal life in God's kingdom, while leaving behind those who have not met a standard of piety to face the rule of Satan.

Unfortunately, pets may not be eligible for eternal salvation.

"Pets don't have souls, so they'll remain on Earth," Todd Strandberg, the founder of a Web site called raptureready.com, told BusinessWeek. "I don't see how they can be taken with you."

Oh, how sad! But never fear, true believers, there is a way to protect your beloved pets! For the nominal fee of just $110 for the first pet and $15 for each additional one, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, run by 61-year-old Bart Centre, promises to see to those unfortunate soulless creatures. 'Cause, y'see,

"Each Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you have received your reward," the company's Web site promises. "Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus."

It's a really great deal, because the fee is good if the Rapture happens any time in the next 10 years - and if it doesn't, you can sign up for an additional 10 years at a 25% discount! Cool beans!

The firm says it has rescuers in 22 states who are committed, "come hell or high water," to reach a person's pet in 18 to 24 hours after the Rapture and it won't sell coverage to people in areas where that promise can't be met.

More than 100 people have signed up.