Saturday, January 19, 2013

Left Side of the Aisle #91 - Part 5

Clown Award #3: Faux News host Eric Bolling

So earlier we had one Faux news host being our Outrage of the Week, so it's only fair and balanced that another Faux News host be one of our clowns of the week.

I know it's an embarrassment of riches over there, but in this case our clown is Eric Bolling, who on January 9 accused some school textbooks of “pushing the liberal agenda” by teaching an algebra lesson about the distributive property in math. If you've forgotten your Algebra 1 class, the distributive property is the one that says, for example, 6 x 15 = (6 x 10) + (6 x 5).

Well, the worksheet provided by a company called Scholastic has a cartoon of a girl with a bag of money saying “Distribute the wealth.” That was enough to get Bolling off on a rant because, apparently, mathematics is a liberal conspiracy.

He wasn't ranting alone for long: Co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle declared that the algebra worksheet had put her on “high alert” for the liberal agenda hidden in her 6-year-old son’s curriculum.

Co-host Dana Perino - Remember Dana Perino? She was George Bush's press secretary who admitted in 2007 that when she was asked about it she had no idea what the Cuban missile crisis was and in 2009 claimed that there were no terrorist attacks on the US during Bush's presidency - which was true if you ignore the anthrax letters and, oh yeah, 9/11. Anyway, she chimed in to gripe about some effort somewhere to stop children from role playing “cowboys and Indians” at Thanksgiving - I have no idea where cowboys at Thanksgiving came from, but remember this is Dana Perino we're talking about - anyway, some effort somewhere to stop children from role playing “cowboys and Indians” at Thanksgiving because experts say that “the historic enemy of Indians was not cowboys, but the U.S. government.”

Co-host Greg Gutfeld asserted that “Everybody has anecdotal evidence" of this hideous liberal manipulation. “I think the only way leftism can survive is through indoctrination - so you got to get them young." Proving that he was worthy to be in this crowd, he added that "A lot of this comes from the teachers. They get their news from The Huffington Post and their antiperspirant from a health food store. This is the way they live.” I have no idea what that is supposed to mean and I doubt he does, either.

Not to be outdone by his never-ending roll of co-hosts, Bolling ranted that his son’s history textbook was also in on the plot. It addressed the Iraq war, he said,
and they were very, very liberally biased, saying George Bush went in there because he heard there were weapons of mass destruction and they were never found. It was a very liberal bias to the history books.
Which does go to prove, like folks say, that reality - along with math, apparently - has a liberal bias.


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