Okay, it's time for one of our regular features, the Clown Award, given for meritorious stupidity.
I had retired two people from the Clown Award 'cause they were just too easy as targets, so it wasn't fair to the other aspirants. But just occasionally, as today, I'll bring bring one of them out of retirement if only to show that the old folks still got it. One of those people is Supreme Court justice Antonin Skeltor. The other is this week's dishonoree.
So the winner of the Big Red Nose this week is the man with the world's most perfect initials, Fox News host Bill O'Reilly.
See, he wrote this book called Killing Jesus. It was a best-seller due to the compulsive need of his audience - whose average age, no lie, is 72 - to lap up everything he spills. It was also bad enough and historically wrong enough that a biblical scholar whose political objection to BillO is that he's not conservative enough wrote an entire book of his own ripping it apart.
Well, Killing Jesus the book has been made into "Killing Jesus" the cable-tv movie. Based on the reviews, a bad movie. For example, the New York Daily News considered the movie to be so-so, observing that "many of the characters feel as if they could have stepped out of a modern-day action-adventure drama." More harshly, the Guardian called it "a Tea Party version of the son of God" and the Boston Globe called it "shallow," "distended," and "overbaked."
But BO knows the real truth behind this sort of judgement.
So on his show on March 30, he dismissed all criticism of the film. The negative reviews, he declared with all the authority of the Sermon on the Mount, were just part of the on-going "assault" on "Judeo-Christian tradition" by the "secular-progressive left" who wrote bad reviews of his self-described "noble endeavor" because it had a religious agenda, which they cannot tolerate. Because, as we all know, people like Martin Luther King, the Berrigans, Dorothy Day, Cesar Chavez, the list goes on an on, none of them were Christians.
And that must be true because "Any embrace of Christian tradition is a danger to the agenda of the left," according to this week's clown. "It was easy to see that" in the reviews.
So he did, and Killing Jesus followed his earlier books Killing Lincoln and Killing Kennedy. Which raises the question of if he was channeling the Holy Spirit or the spirit of the late Jim Bishop, whose books included The Day Christ Died, The Day Lincoln Was Shot, and The Day Kennedy Was Shot.
No matter. What's important is that BO knows the truth and the truth is that "it is open season on Christians" in the US who are horribly oppressed - why, it seems like every other day we hear about some poor oppressed Christian being fired from their job because their boss found out they (gasp) went to church the previous Sunday. And that is the real reason, the only reason, his crappy mov- excuse me, his "noble endeavor" - got bad reviews.
They say the Lord works in mysterious ways. BO certainly is one of the more mysterious of them. Bill O'Reilly: clown.
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