Saturday, July 07, 2012

Left Side of the Aisle #64 - Part 3

Clarabell Award: One Million Moms vs. Oreos

The Clarabell award going to be regular feature here at Left Side of the Aisle. It wasn’t supposed to be, it was supposed to be occasional, but now it's. There are just too many clowns out there. Actually, to be more accurate since I won't say there will be one every week, I shouldn't call it a regular feature but a frequent one.

This week's dishonoree is the organization One Million Moms, a paranoid, homophobic group of wackos who are convinced the gays are coming to get us all!

They really are a bunch of loony losers. There were the people who back in February called for a nationwide boycott of JC Penny because the chain hired Ellen DeGeneres as its spokeswoman in its commercials. This drive was so successful that in March, One Million Moms dropped the whole thing, saying "other issues" require the group's attention.

What "other issues?" Here are some:

- In February, they threatened Toys-R-Us with a boycott because the chain's stores carried the Archie comic with the same-sex wedding, which I mentioned a few weeks ago. I notice they didn't call for a boycott of Archie comics; I guess even they realized that was a lost cause.

- In April, they condemned Urban Outfitters for showing a lesbian couple in its catalog

- In May, they were busy slamming DC Comics and Marvel Superheroes for introducing gay characters into their storylines.

So I suppose it's really no surprise that just last week, this concatenation of flakes was all a-quiver over this:

It's exactly what it looks like: a rainbow Oreo cookie. More exactly, it's not an actual cookie, it's an image that was unveiled last weekend on Oreo's official Facebook page. It's an ad. But it was an ad that was done in support of Pride Month and no one, including Oreo, denies the broader meaning. It makes the point simply and clearly and the image has gone viral.

And One Million Moms just can't contain itself, ranting and raving about the imminent demise of human civilization - or, at least, American civilization which is after all the only one that counts. In a way, it's easy to feel sorry for One Million Moms; consider just recently: JC Penny, Toys-R-Us, Archie comics, Urban Outfitters, DC comics, Marvel comics, and now, even Oreo cookies bear the mark of evil! They must feel the world collapsing around them. Which, happily, it is.

One Million Moms, which is a part of the even more deeply disturbed American Family Association, helpfully notes Oreo's are made by Kraft Foods, which has other brands, including Cadbury, Maxwell House, and Nabisco. Thank you for that information, One Million Moms; I'll be sure to keep it in mind when I do my shopping.

That bit of helpful info, however, does not change the fact that you are complete and total clowns.


No comments:

// I Support The Occupy Movement : banner and script by @jeffcouturer / (v1.2) document.write('
I support the OCCUPY movement
');function occupySwap(whichState){if(whichState==1){document.getElementById('occupyimg').src=""}else{document.getElementById('occupyimg').src=""}} document.write('');